The Masked Critic

He may be a little more than 6 feet tall and he may weigh less than your sister. He may still be working on the puberty thing and his ankles may, strangely enough, be hairless. But just try to figure out who he is. Just try — I bet you can’t. He’s really very mysterious. He’s one of those people that has mystery. You know, like one of those people that has a job and stuff. Only instead of a job, see, he has mystery. You might notice that he wears a ski mask and that makes him very hard to recognize, so yeah, thus the whole mystery thing. Also, he is addicted to math puzzles, television, and beer.